My First ‘First Date’

I went to bed nervous. I woke up nervous. No, I wasn’t having surgery, public speaking, or even going to the dentist. I was going on my very first date. I met him on Tinder. When we started talking on the app he was pretty straightforward, he asked me for coffee right away. My therapist had mentioned that I should go on a date, to face my fears. So I said yes and we planned a time to meet up.

I wore a dress, which I bought specifically for the date. I would later realize this dress was actually a long shirt. So I was wearing an extremely short dress to this date. I got to the date late because I got lost. It probably took me 2hrs to get to this damn coffee shop. Also, I don’t drink coffee. Coffee makes me jittery and gives me anxiety, hence the therapy.  

I ordered a hot chocolate, it was August. He got an iced coffee like a normal person. He told me I had “beautiful eyes.” But then we sat down and I had to actually talk. I was so nervous I basically made him tell me his whole life story. Surprisingly, he enjoyed doing that. He had a lot of stories to tell and I just sat there. I sat there secretly having a mental break down. At the end of the date we walked out, we hugged, and he asked me for my number. We never spoke again.

Did I even go on the date? I don’t remember anything we talked about, what his personality was like, for god’s sake I don’t even remember his name. Honestly, I could have just imagined him up in some sort of anxious stupor. The date did prepare me for something, not just for other dates, but for one on one social interactions in general. So whether this date actually happened or not (sadly it did actually happen) I’m grateful for what I learned from it.  

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