I Tried Sexting

Let the record show that I wasn’t sexting someone I knew. I wasn’t sexting someone I had, even, met. We matched on Tinder, the beginning of every love story. It was 2:40AM so I wasn’t expecting a love connection. He looked like an interesting person, with an attractive face, which is why I swiped right. His first picture made him look like a hippie straight out of the 60s. In the picture, he has long bushy hair that reaches his shoulders. He’s wearing a colorful headdress with a tapestry around his shoulders.  

He started the conversation. It turned sexual quite quickly. Usually, when this happens I try to diverge the conversation into some sort of joke because that’s how I deal with just about everything that makes me uncomfortable. But it was 3AM now and I thought “you know what, you’ll never see this man, why not try it out?” He wanted to roleplay, a sort of teacher, student fantasy thing. He wanted to “punish me.” “You need a good spanking,” he said. I thought how do I respond to this in a clever, yet hot, way. I decided on “It’ll be hard to spank me while I’m under you.” I thought, yes I had done it something clever but still vague enough not to be overly gross. I was waiting for his response, something equally as hot but of course not gross. He said, “oh is that where you are? Do tell.” What a lazy response. I went right into joke mode and told him that “we can braid our hair together and have avatar sex.”

Long story short sexting is not for me and I don’t think I’ll be trying it again anytime soon.

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